i lie here
between everything i said
and everything i did
between the words i gave away
and the ones i kept
somewhere beneath my tongue
i take these moments
to think of how we exist
how two people can live
inside the same memory
and somehow remember it
in different ways
and i exist like this
to feel through my emotions
to let them move
without asking where they belong
because some feelings
only make sense
when you stop trying
to name them
i take two
and i call the cards
i flip them slowly
for the ideas
of everything we could be
and everything we were
wondering how much of fate
is only what we choose
to believe in
i try in these times
to better myself
from where i was
to where i could be
to become someone
who can look backward
without needing
to live there
and i find this
in the way we are
in the way i find truth
inside my desires
the things i wanted
the things i imagined
the things that still feel real
even when they never became
i take you
by your hand
and i ask you to dance
but we’re twirling around
these doors of where we were
instead of where
we wanted to be
and every turn
brings us close
then farther again
like the music knows
something we don’t
like the room keeps moving
even when our feet
stay in the same place
because in time
we find our truths
we find whether two people
can exist together
at the same time
without one becoming memory
while the other
is still trying to stay
and i rhyme for you
because i long for this
in the twists of where we were
in the softness of the song
in the little ways
your hands gripped mine
like neither of us
wanted to be the first
to let go
and i feel it
i still feel it
not like something
asking to return
but like a hand
i can still remember
after the music ends
like one last turn
around the room
one last look
before the lights change
one last time
to feel your hand in mine
before we both decide
which door
we’re finally walking through