i lie into you
your deep brown eyes
the way your hands sit softly
where the table divides us
and we converse over
little bits
pieces of where i haven’t felt like this
in so long
the emotions
they build
quietly at first
then all at once
and i retune to what i regard
as deep as this goes
or as little as it appears
because sometimes depth
does not announce itself
i feel this
and i feel it everywhere
in the space between your fingers
in the way you look away
and somehow return
in the smallest movements
that become larger
once i take them home
i think we take what we have
and we give it meaning
because we hold everything
in little bits and pieces
the breath
the glance
the pause before a sentence
the things that would mean nothing
if we did not carry them
like how i take your breath
and regard it
for what i feel it deserves
how i take magnitude
and give it the highest place
because i gave it that
not because it necessarily deserved it
but because something in me
needed it to mean more
in depth
in emotion
and in hostility
in coldness
and in warmth
in every shade between
what we know
and what we only think we know
i deserve to feel
a sense deeper than blue
a color so clear
only i can feel its meaning
something without a name
but still familiar
like i have carried it before
in another room
in another life
i look at you
with grace
with softness
with hands that can hold
that can grip
that can feel
like everything has been here before
like the body remembers
before the mind does
do you understand this
do you accept this
or do you only feel
the shape of it
without knowing
what to call it
i hand you a piece of paper
with a touch so delicate
the paper crumbles
before you can read it
and maybe that is the point
some words are too soft
to survive being opened
these words are for me
but i know you can feel them too
with eyes that hold
just a second longer
than they have to
to look you deep in your eyes
and feel them look back
is a feeling that arrives
so rarely
i almost do not trust it
when it comes
these are my hands
to tie them
to hold them
to leave them open
or simply
to accept them
and maybe that is all
i was ever asking
not for you to carry
everything i feel
just to know
it was there