to lie here
beside the thought of
all the things we leave
our bones
the density
the tears
the weight of what stays
when everything else moves
i wish i could feel the time
once more
where the oceans pull
and our skin comes loose
and every emotion
rises to the surface
because everything floats
until it doesn’t
and everything left
finds somewhere to sink
i touch this life
like i want it
like i could leave it
with fingerprints on the edges
a little proof
that something passed through me
before i passed through it
we stand in comfort
for too long
until it settles
into the bones
until the room feels warmer
than the world outside
and we forget
what it means to leave
i do not find time for this
like candles in the night
like matches held too close
just to feel the heat
something i could hold
something i could release
before the flame
became the reason
and in this time
and in this life
i find truth in exploring
which doors open
which revolve
which handles turn
and which remain still
like some rooms
were only meant
to be wondered about
we make motion with footsteps
but the mind
how it pulls at night
how we lie still
and stand everywhere
all at once
in rooms we remember
in streets we no longer walk
in beds that belong
to other versions of us
i exist in what i give
what i hold
what i let go of
pretty words
paragraphs that bend
sentences left unfinished
things i said
and things i meant
only for a moment
when i speak
my tongue twists
and sometimes the words
do not make sense
but they made sense to me
when i let them go
and maybe words
only need a second
to belong somewhere
like time
how we stand inside it
until it moves
how everything once certain
softens at the edges
and what made sense then
becomes something else
when we look back
i gave you my hand
i asked you to hold it
for you to promise
for what i thought was
ever so simple
another hand
not pulling away
when mine reached for it
sometimes promises
pull us from comfort
and sometimes comfort
becomes the prison
the walls soft enough
the light warm enough
to make us forget
there was ever a door
i would like to step outside this box
this moment
where i feel protected
by everything i fear
because fear can feel
a lot like shelter
when you stay there
long enough
we do not grow
if we are never afraid
we do not seek
if we never move
and we never know distance
until something
begins to drift
all the things i said
i remember
like how i could wait
how time could bend
how maybe what was meant
would find its way
but will i
because waiting has a sound
and i know this song
the way it rises
the way it fades
the way the room feels
when it plays too long
the song is getting quiet
and somewhere beneath it
i can feel us moving
one of us is drifting
and for once
i don’t know
which one