i find my way
through pieces of where we were
through memories of
everything we said
and everything we left behind
between breaths
between pauses
between the words we never finished
and i speak in transitions
because maybe that’s all we ever were
doorways opening into other doorways
moving rooms
turning pages
inside books we never learned
how to finish reading
i write for you
on nights like this
when monday slips quietly
through the corner of my eye
and another week begins
without asking whether i’m ready for it
i think about your hands
wrapped around mine
and somehow
i can still feel them
they say when energy is exchanged
it never disappears
it only changes form
and i have always believed that
i believe
you felt this too
i believe there was a moment
where we both understood something
without needing language for it
and i believe you knew
exactly what i meant
when i said it
even if neither of us
knew what to do afterward
we skirt around the pages
we left blank
the chapters we skipped
because fear arrived
before honesty did
and i keep stepping around
the things i never managed to say
emotions i carried home
without realizing
they were becoming part of me
i feel you now
like a stone resting quietly
inside my pocket
always there
small enough to forget
heavy enough to notice
like memories trailing behind me
like rain finding its way
down the windshield
choosing its own direction
without asking permission
i leave myself here
just a little longer
just long enough
to feel what could have been
without letting it become
all that i am
i find myself again
down beside the pond
where silence gathers gently
and noise cannot reach me
yet somehow
i still long for it
with my hands against my ears
i hold this quietness
for as long as i can
and i move through these thoughts
like mist becoming fog
like snow surrendering into water
changing shape
without ever disappearing
we drift
and i drift
but somewhere
i think you drift too
because if energy is exchanged
it remains
it settles into rooms
into songs
into ordinary afternoons
it waits patiently
until one of us
recognizes it again
it is here
standing quietly in front of us
asking to be acknowledged
you can accept it
or fold beneath it
but i have never known
how to walk away
from things i don’t understand
i hold them
i turn them over
again and again
until they finally tell me
who they are
i only wish
you had stayed long enough
to do the same